and so it is.

i'd just like to catergorically state, for the record, i am NOT, not by a long shot, not Amin, not even close. although I must say he is one good looking fella. real charmer too. but of course, he's not nearly half as dashingly good-looking as me. I contain more handsomeness in my little finger than amin does in his entire body. wait, make that amin and wee yang and ken and zu kai and kak wai and basically anybody with a penis, although if that's the case, i don't think zu kai's gonna count. yeah. that's a whole lotta handsome.a veritable mother load of hansome. but the ladies don't mind. gets them right between the legs.

block tests are finally over and not a moment too soon. the sleepless nights are giving me bad eyes and god knows how much i hate wearing make-up to conceal it. i have no qualms about admitting that i use make-up. my unbelivable porcelain-like complexion does not come easy. being good looking is hard work. i am completely comfortable with my sexuality so i don't find wearing make up emasculating one bit. in fact, sometimes, when my sister's out, i sneak into her room and put on her lingerie and stroke myself. gotta say, i look smokin hot in a red lace bra. goes with my eyes. but i am not gay mind you just disconcertingly comfortable with my sexuality. like that nice indian gentleman, kumar.

just so you know.

recently, i've been getting loads of stick for being good-looking. look, its not my fault i've been born so damn good looking ok? i didn't ask for it but i am sure as hell that i deserve it more than anyone i can think of. you think maintaining my umbeliably good looks is easy? fuck no. it requires strict discipline and bucket loads of commitment. i have to trim my eyebrows, wax my legs, use make up and exercise. my chiselled features may have been naturally endowed (thank you jesus) but my unbelievably good body is hard to come by. it ain't easy, make no mistake about it, but i'm not complaining. being super handsome is something i've been doing all my life and i've got to say i'm so damn good at it.

people think i'm some ass-kissing, spankin' bitch. ha. that's just a facade ladies. you think i actually enjoy grovelling at you lot? doing all your shit for you? pretending to be a listening ear when i really really can't give less of a fuck? biggest bullshit ever. i just wanna get in your pants. and with my front and incredibly good looks its been easy. chicks have been falling for me all over the place. i'm getting mobbed. they're all over. i've tried using a stick to beat them away with a stick but they sure are relentless. like a whole fucking school of howler monkeys (which are reknowned in nature for their relentlessness, trust me) i've tried sending a decoy in to distract them but no one can capture my good lookingness. no one comes close (eat that, ken) ladies, take a number please. if i have the time, i'll do all of you. ok. not all of you. just the hot ones. why just the other day in school, this whole horde of j1 chicks were eye fucking me. can't blame em. i get that shit alot but ladies, a little discretion please.

HEY WORLD!!!!!!!! THE EAGLE HAS LANDED. THE MAN'S MAN, LADIES MAN, MAN ABOUT TOWN IS HERE TO STAY